Thoughts on wind
      As I bring my cigarette up to my monkey lips I bring in a lung full of smooth but rough around the edges smoke. Exhaling a romantic swril to which my thoughts cling upon and disappear. Remembering back to the days of my upbringing. What pushed me so far away? Was it death or was it life? Two side of the same coin I suppose. I too have been lost in this meritorious labyrinth over the course of the years, and they do go by. One look into the future told me to take the nearest exit to solitude. Subsequently I found myself in the frozen north country with spires of ice so high they would dwarf the very meaning of existence on this place we call Earth, a place where any species of monkey or ape would dare not dream of out of fear of ones own sanity. Apes would call it, being cast out of society by ones own will, monkeys just wouldn't give two shits.
      Spirit is just one culprit of my condition, which I can't say is too bad. Some may say it has led me astray to savagery accompanied by filth. I almost never take a bath. However, every so often I will trek through the snow to get to the warm earth springs that lay to the south over the snow covered hills. There is a daily routine I've grown quite fawned of. Get up in the morning, shit, set my squirrel traps and gather the pine nuts for another days feast. The squirrels I will never get tired of, once the head is bitten and over with the rest is a juicy snack that slides with grace down the esophagus often times followed by a belch of appreciation.

To be continued:

Dream of being on the run!
I had a dream last night that the Nobles from across the street were trying to kill me. I was living at the house I grew up in. They tried to assassinate me once while I was in my kitchen, they shot at me but missed, the bullet landed pretty close though. It was something over the orange tulips growing in the front yard. I was talking to my Mom in the dream and she said it would be best that I go on the run on the road. The other option was to kill the Nobles who were already deathly afraid of me for some reason. So I decided to go on the run. I remember bringing nothing but the car, no sleeping bag just the clothing I had on. I had a choice in the dream to go north and I had a choice to go south to New Mexico. I decided to drive to New Mexico to start a new life. The only reason I went south was because I could see the winter coming to the north and I didn't want to get the car stuck in the snow. I had to be very stealth because the Nobles were tracking me and trying to kill me.

The next part of the dream I had to dig graves. I had a big back hoe I was operating and I dug the graves more the 6 feet. The guy i was working with wanted them to be more shallow for some reason, so I had to fill them in. I had 6 graves dug before I had to go. As I was climbing out of this graveyard I found a bunch of decorations in the layers of dirt. Story left behind form people that have been there before. The last part of the dream I was driving down highway 666.

Another strange one.

Oh Id probably rather live in a cave
in a cold dark damp cavern far away from here
Then to fallow you to that city so great
knowing not what will coming of my fate

Now the place I live is in the spruce
far above everything that is ufar above you
where the midnight sun moves in through the trees
lighting all the shadows in unexplored ways

and i for one will be free
just like the fish in the creek
go head and take me out of my world
but you know I wont last too long 
I'd probably just sleep the day
dreaming of the wilderness dreaming of her
being round a fire burning close to the heart
I'd would give anything just to be there again

Being choked by the smog being choked by the brease
Honey go grab my shovel and start diggin me a hole
Gonna lay down in it tell I'm satisfy my soul
Even the walking dead know that there's more then this.
Even the walking dead know that there's more then this.
Even the walking dead know that there's more then this. 

A fading dream.
Damn I wish i would a took down this dream I had a few night ago earlier.

It started that I was in a car with my brother Aaron driving in some kind of really cool jungle. It was almost like a paradise of sorts. The place was very lush. I remember seeing a peacock perched a top this really big tree. The sun was illuminating this peacock's feather in such a way it was turning the light into a brilliant blue light that felt so good to be in. Both my brother and I decided to get out and take some pictures of it. It felt very symbolical in the dream. (I did a little research today on that: 

There was a different part of this jungle too, the swamps. At this point of the dream I was with a few people I seemed to know on a boat floating down this big river the connects all the same places I seem to go in my dreams. We came across a huge chicken/man beast that was very clumsy and had not much of an IQ, he had no beak, was about 30 feet tall and, had a red gobbler and a face like a fat man. I wanted to know what happened in the creation of the creature. It was showed to me; the chicken beast had a mother that was a hen and a father that was a demigod human. (think it over). It was not to be, a genetic mistake. I made no attempt with dialog with this creature. Further down, did this dream drift. I was back in the car with my older brother driving out of the jungle. I wanted to stay and find more cool stuff but my brother wanted to go back to Salt Lake. It was a road that reminded me of Jereme's Ranch but was near the Great Salt Lake. The road took us back on I-80 east. There seemed to be no way back after we entered the city. It was more like a maze. I remember walking and finding all these faggy people hanging around that were trying to hit on me. There were trying to talk me into shit I didn't want to do. I got really mad and ran away. 

At this point of the dream I ran into my cousin Pat. The setting changed to some kind of damp cavern. I had on these weird spongy gloves on that i took off. There was this very scary bull/human that was talking to us. All I wanted to do at this point was to get the hell out and back to the jungle but, I was trapped and so was Pat. This beast took pat against his will and brought him into a room. When I looked in this room, he was carving text and symbols onto pats forehead and I could here the bull man talking in almost a Latin sounding language. Pat had blood dripping off of him, the bull was planing to turn him loose with weird text on his forehead. That's when I started to try and get the hell out of there. I ran into people along the way, but they were no help. The last part of the dream the bull spoke to me as I was waking up. The scary part was I could still hear the speech when I was fully awake.

WTF was this dream saying? 

The most mysterious part of the dreamworld is that it has some places and landmarks that I always come across. It's almost like a flashback from different lifetimes I've lived. The fish are always there, swimming around and also feel very symbolic. The air plains I fly, The dream of crashing in the great river with my Dad and being killed. The jungle, The red desert, the badlands where the Great Salt lake is, the huge shallow lake/grassland where Provo is now. The huge endless gap that divides one landmass to another, the wilderness of huge trees, The underground caverns where the water flows in the red desert. The lakes around big cottonwood where TJ lands his plain and fishes, and all the endless wilderness that is up there. The nukes the go off in SLC. Words can't begin to describe or decode all of this. All of these places have meaning and a feeling of familiarity. I feel like I am starting to understand it a little more as I grow older. I feel as if the veal that we have in our waking life has holes in it when it comes to the dreamworld. Perhaps the place I live now will become just another dream of a another person with my knowing or unknowing perspective. Who's ta say?       

Dream log
Last nights dreams:

I remember looking up to he sky to see a bunch of F-14s chemtrailing over us. My eyes started burning. I also looked up and could see a massive space ship hovering overhead. 

My thoughts for today
This growing sense I am becoming awake has put me more in touch with my higher self or, higher being. I am starting to feel how energy effects the body and how essential it is to clear out all the negative goop that hardens not only our spirits but our own physical body. The upper self seems to be telling me that we first must take care of our bodies by cleansing the negative buildup of toxins. I'm not going to go in the science of this but I will recommend a coffee enema. This link will describe the process:       

It is my belief that our bodies functions somewhat like an antenna would; and I'll get to that later. We all have an electric magnetic field not seen by the necked eye that surrounds our bodies. Everyday toxins that we get exposed to can impedes the complex bodily functions that are necessary for maintaining a healthy energy field. As you may know, with health, one thing wrong with the body can lead to other problems that can in turn effect the unseen energy field that I speak of. Most communally, aliments that have to do with our liver, gallbladder, and digestive health seems to be the root of most problems that we may face healthwise. That's why it is important to take care of ourselves. Maybe do a cleanse once and a while, see what it does. It really does make a difference in your overall well being, trust me. 

Now with the notion that our bodies act like sort of an antenna. This is one thing you have to find out on your own. I can say there are a lot of good exercises that people are doing to contact their higher awareness. Meditation is one of these. There is no specific way to meditate. In fact, you should find the best way that works for you. Relaxing the body can allow you to turn your energy away from your musicals and put the effort into your higher functions. Remember: Mercaba. Mind Body Spirit with light.                    

The apex of change
Truth has no clause for reason sometimes, it just happens through the mind, body and spirit that is in all of us. Sheepish people will go out of their ways to hide something they don't want you to know about and, it's growing more apparent everyday that the secrets they keep are small potatoes comparably. Their day-to-day problems are beginning to emerge on the collective conscience level where no secrets will exist.  Something is happening to us, more and more human beings are waking up and smelling the coffee of life. Interconnectedness is starting to ring true on all levels including, religion and science; they are all becoming one. People are starting to see their potentials as creators in a mad world and casting aside their old dogmas that they stubbornly grasped a hold of as if to show the world their might. We are beginning to step out of the mundane and into the exotic.   

Have you ever thought about a person a particular day and had that person subsequently call you on your phone? Why does this happen so much? Why is the intensity of this growing? 

I had another dream during my nap today.

I was at a table with a bunch of people in front of a stage with these people rapping terribly. These rappers had no talent at all. I was waiting for the guest speaker to get up on the stage and give her presentation. In this room there was hundreds of people. This guest speaker walked by me and pointed at me and told me to come up on stage with her. I thought she was picking the person sitting beside me at first so I just sat there, then she turned and told me again to come with her. It was like I was a chosen one. She pointed at about five others and told us to come up on stage with her. We all went up on the stage and were told to turn our backs on the audience so we did. It was my turn to talk to the audience about a flood. On the projector there was a picture of Salt Lake City around the foothills. The next slide was of a boat sitting atop someone house. The lady told me to talk about the "what ifs" of a flood being in Salt lake. I spoke to the audience and couldn't really articulate myself in a way I wanted to. So I left the stage and heard people talking about me. I was taken by surprise and didn't have the facts about a coming flood that I never heard of.

The meaning of my dreams are getting so intense. The dream world is a mysterious realm. Almost ever night I have a dream that I can remember with a lot of details. I know people don't really read my blog, I don't care. However, if you have the same thing going and you somehow just stumbled upon this blog and need a good person to talk with about this subject, by all means, please comment or message me, I'd be happy to talk to you. Much love

Remember Sasquatch
It was too tall to be
maybe I was seeing things
running threw the shadows of the trees
And there wasn't anything I would of done
even though I had my riffle by my side

Maybe it was the missing link
Spiraling down the branches
Too afraid to be seen
The timing was uncanny

Just take to heart when your camping with yourself
you might just hear them screaming, your name
thought you were alone, didn't you
they chilled you through your bones that night


(solo Break)

Then I found the tracks, waltzing round my tent
they were just as  big as can be.
the story was all in the mud you see
Well I might of been crushed that night
I could of been crushed that night.

Writer's Block: First Amendment
Most people can't even begin to fathom how much power is in the individual. Why is this? From a young age we have been indoctrinated from our schools, from our leaders, from the powers that be, that we are merely unimportant servants standing next to an 'overall cause'. The seed has been quietly planted in our brains and has been aloud to grow out of control to the point where we loose that key element that is required for happiness. And that key element is freedom!!! It's what our founding fathers fought for and no one should undermined it!

This is something we CAN NOT stand idly by and let happen!      

Confestion of a stray. part:3
hello my name is JJ. How are you? What are you? Sometimes I've been asking myself these questions with sort of an expectation in having the answer thrown out in front of me. I guess I writing this because I have once again found that I am blue and sitting a alone in my world right now. I thought this Christmas would be so much better then last Christmas but this was far from the case. I drank myself into a stupor last night and I should not of. I had joy in my heart at first but unfortunately that was taking away by a small minded bigot. I thought I lived in a community that embraced one another as being truly different in our own little ways. apparently this former belief of mine has been smacked down and walked all over with disrespect. 

Why do I suffer every fucking Christmas? Drama... man, I'm sick and tired of it. It will end up pushing me away... further into the realm of being a outcast stray.       


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